that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How does one acquire holy water?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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