I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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