I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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