i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize