dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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