This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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