She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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