You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I need to calm my uterus...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize