my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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