i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize