I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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