I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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