Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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