I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
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all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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