nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize