i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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