She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Found the puke drawer
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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