Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
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You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Let's get the cat blown out
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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