I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
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I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
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The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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