yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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