Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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