well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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