she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
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You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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