Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Shame is for Republicans.
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