And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize