38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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