so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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