How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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