I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize