thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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