Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize