Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize