Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
tell me about the eggs
Randomize