i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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