we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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