I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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