Whod you bang
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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