and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize