I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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