You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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