I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize