i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize