Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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