and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I love you. Go after that dick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up under a house in Key West
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize