she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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