I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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