I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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