I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize