I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize