I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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